It’s 5:47 PM and it’s the first Thursday in June. Parts of me are still covered in sand. Todd and I went camping at Tunitas Creek Beach for a night. My hair still smells like a campfire. I’ve been thinking a lot about writing and what it means to me, and if I still want to do it (as a career, a hobby, a way to pass time). I’ve spent a whole lot of my childhood and adolescence writing poetry, fiction and non-fiction, keeping up all sorts of different blogs. Since I left college in May of 2013, my life had been in a constant state of upheaval: from the destruction of my childhood dream to teach English in Japan, to moving to Melbourne instead, the end of my first serious relationship and my reflections on relationships following, the many friends and lovers I have accrued (and lost) between turning twenty-three and now, nearly twenty-four, the shadow of my staggering student debt, and most discerningly, the rapidly building uncertainty of the answer to this question: What should I be doing now?
The reason I have not blogged for months, is simply because I did not put any time into writing, or blogging.
What did I put my time into, then? Well, first it was work at the cafe. Five out of seven days of grueling service work, and on top of that, entering my current non-monogamous relationship with Todd. Managing and delegating time is not my forte. But it is safe to say that what we have going between us is pretty solid, and it is because I took the time to nurture this budding relationship.
But let’s go back to the dilemma of the decade:
WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I BE DOING NOW?
I’ve got that infamous “University Degree” with years of experience in the most eclectic fields. But let’s be real, it doesn’t mean shit for me. So what have I been focusing on lately?
I’ve been practicing my bass guitar. Yup. The band geek in me wanted to teach myself the Circle of Fifths on the bass, just so I could know all the scales and notes. I’m not very good at playing yet, but i’m getting more and more familiar with fingerings and the shape of its body. One day I’m gonna join an all-girls punk band, or maybe an all-girls funk band, and jive out on the bass. One day.
I’ve also been focusing on my diet & health. Todd and I joined a gym called Bladium (which has a kinda-cool, kinda-lame name) but through it, I’ve tried Zumba, yoga, pilates classes, and have access to a magnificent climbing wall, all sorts of sports leagues, a bar/cafe, a whole range of machines, a boxing ring, and even a sauna and steam room. And it’s never crowded! We have been going pretty consistently; probably six days a week, which is crazy new to me. Hopefully I can make this routine for the rest of my life! *Crosses fingers nervously*
In terms of diet, Todd’s paleo-esque influence on what I eat has been extremely helpful in my slow transformation. I’m learning to avoid certain inflammatory foods that can trigger my asthma and eczema (such as gluten-products, wheat, bread, cheese and all other dairy products) and eat more of the good stuff! All sorts of veggies, giant salads with fruit, seeds, plantains, “tubers” (as Todd likes to call them) which are various root vegetables like sweet potatoes and yucca, and good, high-quality meats that we usually get from Whole Foods. I’m OBSESSED with Almond Milk, which helped me get over cow’s milk. I’ve stopped eating rice, which is new and strange to me because I was raised in a Filipino household, but I’m quickly realizing that rice (and pasta) is just a filler, and I can have more of the good stuff without compromising a healthy, diabetic-free future for myself.
Okay. I think this is a good enough update for now. There’s still a lot I want to write about: my experience as an East Coaster on the West Coast, the type of emerging culture here in the Bay that is quickly shape-shifting and clashing with what was, parenting and education styles, what it’s like to be non-monogamous and the important conversations on sexuality and relationships, or even just all the new foods and recipes I’ve been cooking up! I’ll save it for next time.
There will be a next time. I’ll make sure of it.
Thank you for reading,
Clairebear
Heart At Bay 